L'Empire, c'est moi!

The weekend has seen a series of very mixed messages concerning the forthcoming negotiations over the further progress of the EU Constitution.

Firstly there is the suggestion that Blair might be after or be offered the new 2½ year (renewable once) post of Full Time President of the European Union. This positively ghastly idea is apparently being touted by new French President Nicolas Sarkozy who will today appear in public with a hankie pressed to his nose after having a serious and somewhat unexpected nosebleed administered to him by the ever-fickle and feckless French electorate which appears to have actually reduced the number of seats for the right rather than deliver a Sarkozy landslide.

Sarkozy has obviously well-judged his man. Blair’s Peacock Prince Grand Tour of recent weeks has revealed a man of unmitigated hubris whose smug self-belief knows no bounds. What better trick to pull to get your own way than to play to Blair’s deep-seated vanity, engaging in unahamed sycophancy in suggesting that no better candidate exists for this post.

Although the usual sources have tried to pour water on the story, there are some intriguing ideas as to why he might go for it.

Firstly, Blair could claim to be a universally admired statesman, so popular with his fellow Euro Nabobs that he was their first choice for the post.

Secondly, if he can slip this one past the British Public, Europe will have all the hallmarks of an independent state that International Law recognizes. He will be Emperor Tony to Gordon’s Town Clerk. They say that revenge is a dish best eaten cold: here is Blair’s chance to have a five-year cold buffet at the expense of both Gordon and the UK (which he so obviously hates and which in turn has taken to hating him). He who laughs last laughs longest. And Empress Cherie could indulge her taste for low-cost shopping in a never-ending tour of Brussels’ handbag shops.

Thirdly he can do a Kinnock by setting himself up for an eye-wateringly large pension at the end of it all: that will help pay the mortgage. The Empress could be co-opted as an MEP, so that, like Tescos, it will be a case of ‘every little helps’.

Meanwhile the ‘Amending Mini-Treaty’, which is not a constitution, can be signed off without a UK referendum and the EU Superstate can safely be allowed to come into being.

Fourthly, Blair can make a little show of being the reluctant bride in all this, only to be coaxed along by his EuroNabob chums into finally accepting the post: “Oh, if you really insist…duty calls”, he will say.

This may well be why Brown has sent BuffHoon out over the weekend to suggest that a referendum is still on the cards. He has NOT promised to hold one as some papers have suggested, merely not ruled it out. That is classic spin, of course, trying to suggest one thing when another is true. But it might make sense if Brown really fears Emperor Tony is going to sell us all into EuroSerfdom and grab the loot for himself: what better way to greet him the day after the 80% ‘No’ referendum result than to say “Sorry, Tony, I did try, honestly, but the people have spoken!”.

We will all have to wait and see.